When I found out that my husband was cheating, he automatically made it about himself by throwing the blame on me, and the sad part about it was that I truly believed that it was my fault for a moment.

It was my fault that he cheated because I wasn't doing this or wasn't doing that. Granted, he also wasn't doing what he needed to do for our marriage, but that didn't make me go out and cheat as he did. It was a matter of morals for me rather than love.

Sure I loved my husband, don't get me wrong, but my morals and my marriage vow told me that cheating (adultery) was wrong. That before I cheated, there were other options, such as communicating with each other. In the event that we couldn't' communicate, we seek marital counseling with an outside therapist. And if those options didn't work, then there was the option to leave, get separated, or initiate divorce proceedings. But that didn't happen.

Now, my husband would say things that made me rethink the way I felt about him.

"You're not listening to me." Guess what? He wasn't listening to me either. 

"You're not showing me affection." I also never said no, and his affection for me was also non-existent. 

"You're not supportive." Neither was he.

"Well, we're not really together." Did he really just say that? We're officially and legally married; what did that even mean? 

Also, just a few of the excuses that he made about why he cheated. There are no excuses for stepping out of your marriage and sleeping with someone else. Before that happens, think:

• How would my spouse or significant other feel or react if I cheated on him/her?
• How would you be able to win their trust back if they found out?
• It may ruin them and destroy their self-esteem.
• Are you willing to destroy your family for a fling?
• What kind of role model are you setting for your kids?
• Is cheating really worth it? 

It's normal to feel as though you didn't do enough or it was your fault that your significant other cheated, but I'm here to tell you that it's not. It's not your fault that he cheated. He cheated because it's what he wanted to do. 

Cheating is an easy way out of a relationship. If your relationship is broken and unfixable, then end it before cheating. A strong person would work through their relationship problems, as there is nothing so broken that it couldn't be fixed. If you're bored or unfulfilled in the bedroom, you can resolve those problems before you cheat. 

When you cheat, there's very little chance of fixing your relationship after it's done, and cheating generally makes things worse as you're now living in a toxic relationship built on distrust. Cheating and the betrayal of trust is permanent, but your marriage or relationship problems are temporary and can be fixed.

Be honest with yourself and consider your partner's feelings before cheating.

But always remember, it's not your fault that he wants to cheat; never blame yourself for someone else's mistake.