It's not the truth that hurts, it's the lies

After almost 20 years together and two kids, the husband and man she's loved forever left her for a swinger. Yup, you read that right. 

While we can go on and on about what they've been through after these many years, she can finally say with all honesty that maybe it was a relief. She may have been more in love with the thought of keeping their family together and not looking/feeling like a failure. Sometimes things happen for a reason, so maybe instead, try to focus on perhaps this was the best thing that has ever happened. 

There's always that preference for things to work out; after all, who spends that many years of their life together to end it all over a fling (well, he does), but what would be the point of that? If he could end it all that easily without fighting, you then start thinking, then maybe he doesn't deserve her. Perhaps she's too good for him, and maybe she needs someone with more backbone who could stand up for what they believe in. 

Maybe it's time you realize that you need and deserve better. No one deserves to be cheated on, and no one should be lied to. It's not learning the truth that hurts but being consistently lied to. It's a lie if you tell someone you love them, but you're only telling them you love them to keep from finding someone who would genuinely love and appreciate them. Be honest, let them know the truth, and make their mind up for themselves. 

You really do have two options, to either make things work or to walk away. What would she have done? 

While he lied his way through his marriage, he was also trying to lie through a separation while he lived with this woman. He was trying to play both sides of the field. Asking for marriage counseling while living and sleeping with this new woman supposedly happily in love while his family picks up the pieces he left behind. The family that he no longer cares about because he has found someone to replace them. 

Apparently, there's no more bro or girl code. It's a myth that women won't sleep with another woman's husband or boyfriend unless they didn't know. In her case, she knew and didn't care that she was destroying a family. 

She was taking a father away from a daughter that loved and cared deeply for her father, and as the only father figure she knows, what it's like to grow up in a 2-parent household and not be a statistic. There are very few black couple households where the parents are married. While there are a few married, most black families tend to make up of just one parent. 

She was also taking a father away from a son who needed a role model to show him what a man looks like who takes care of his family and responsibilities. We need our young men to have good role models who would teach them how to treat a lady the right way. 

She was also taking a husband away from a wife who had been faithful and stood by his side for almost two decades. 

But what did she care? Or what did they both care? They were "in love," that same love that he gave to his wife was now being shared willing with her, and she was more than happy to receive it. She was ready and selfish enough to take his time and love away from his family so that she could have it all to herself. But, unfortunately, she was also selfish enough to take him completely away so that he would have little contact. So they started living together.

But why blame only the woman? The man knew that he was married. He knew he had a family, but lust took over. The sacred vows that he took to cherish and to love his wife for better or for worse, till death do them part meant nothing. It was all a farce, and in the end, he wanted what he wanted, and that wasn't his wife or family.

But there's a woman named Karma, and the cards have yet to be played out. Things won't always be grand in la-la land, but in the end, it'll be too late. What goes around comes around, and it's truly not over until the fat lady sings. His still wife is making plans for a future that will no longer include him and she'll be a-ok!